Land of the Free
America is everything I thought it would be.
I have no freedom, just as I knew I wouldn't. I can't connect with anyone, just as I knew I wouldn't. I've been fighting depression, just as I knew I would. I've cried myself to sleep more times in these fourth months than the previous four years combined ... just as I knew I would.
Sometimes I really hate being right.
It's not that I haven't been trying. I know I'll never like living here, but I thought I'd be able to accept it and live a somewhat contented life. At the very least not hate it here. But despite everything I've done, everyday I wake up and wish I was someplace else.
I've been fighting so hard, but I can't seem to win no matter what I do.
I have no freedom, just as I knew I wouldn't. I can't connect with anyone, just as I knew I wouldn't. I've been fighting depression, just as I knew I would. I've cried myself to sleep more times in these fourth months than the previous four years combined ... just as I knew I would.
Sometimes I really hate being right.
It's not that I haven't been trying. I know I'll never like living here, but I thought I'd be able to accept it and live a somewhat contented life. At the very least not hate it here. But despite everything I've done, everyday I wake up and wish I was someplace else.
I've been fighting so hard, but I can't seem to win no matter what I do.
posted by Shannon | 5:21 AM
3 Comments:
hey babe, i've been there, and i won't tell you that you shouldn't feel this way. it sucks...really really sucks...just don't write it all off too fast, i've been living here more contently than i ever thought possible. hang in there. i promise i'll try and call soon.
You are a beautiful, talented girl, a child of God. He is molding you. You will oneday thank Him for this. I've been there. It's not fun and something we would choose for ourselves. I've shared with you some recent tests that I've had as well many past ones. You will be thankful for this time in your life, one day. Walk the walk one day at a time and before you know it you'll be thankful God for test or trial. Trust Him, Shannon, He knows exactly what He is doing and loves you more than you can possibly imagine.
You are a beautiful, talented girl, a child of God. He is molding you. You will oneday thank Him for this. I've been there. It's not fun and something we would choose for ourselves. I've shared with you some recent tests that I've had as well many past ones. You will be thankful for this time in your life, one day. Walk the walk one day at a time and before you know it you'll be thankful God for test or trial. Trust Him, Shannon, He knows exactly what He is doing and loves you more than you can possibly imagine.
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